7.29.2009

Am I Really Living In a Fantasy World?


I really must be thinking that I am.
Seriously, how can i trust fully?
I mean i try my hardest. But, who do you trust?
How can you distinguish?
I really don't know if I'm being played for a fool or if this is all the truth...
...Was I a fool to think she could be honest with me?
I am pretty candid about things once ur in my circle.
Wut I keep hidden is purely to protect others and myself.
Not out of malice, not to save face...
So now I wonder 'Is this true?'
I refuse to feed into his P.C.I.
REFUSE.
Yet, I am me...
Curious.
Must-know-the-truth...
Ugh!
Are ppl really lyk this?
How do they remember wut they told wut to?
Honesty is key.
Things that supposedly were said were really unnecessary,
But, I messed up.
I was too honest.
You know, like if u warn ppl about the bad stuff u hate ten they are most likely to keep it from u, to aviod all the turmoil?
Yes.
I got too comfortable.
I spelled out what i do and don't like.
So she knew wut to say and not to say.
That I can see.
Truly.
But, the rest...'Is it true?'
If I could trust that others would be honest, then I'd ask.
But, I can live a somewhat honest existence.
And the others?
What do they believe?
I dunno.
So now, I'm so conflicted.
My night of watching the episodes of my soaps is ehhhh...
I really thought once my wall was down that I'd get what I gave out.
Guess, truly I was living in a fantasy world.
I assume that everyone has to look out for themselves...
I assume.
But, I'm still gonna watch ENDA.
Ha!

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